Listen: Once upon a time, near a small town off the freeway, not far from where I grew up, there was a little Christmas theme park. A place filled with fiberglass snow hills, storybook rides, and even an ice covered "North Pole". When I was a kid, I loved the place. Not for the "storybooks come to life" aspect, but because they had a magic shop. This treasure trove of a store boasted such wonders as bugs in ice, smoke from your finger tips, hot pepper gum, disappearing ink, you name it. All the best comic book ad page specials. I can't say I cared much for the rickety ex-carnival rides, but I love spending my allowance in that shop. around 1978 I had one of my first jobs at that park. Not at the magic shop as I would have liked, but as a costumed character.
I was Pumpkinhead.
My already scarecrow like 6 foot high school physique was topped with an enormous fiberglass head in the shape of a sardonic Jack-o-lantern. My day was spent wandering about the park, entertaining kids, being often kicked and generally abused by younger teens, and more often unintentionally scaring the crap out of toddlers. But hey, it was a job, and besides, some of the Elf chicks were pretty hot. Also, there was the March Hare. Under the giant mute rabbit suit was a cool Hawaiian guy who kept me supplied with dirty pidgin sayings. We would grab some free hot chocolate and hop the storybook train, and as we passed, shout things like "won'poke?" at the clown chicks who filled balloons by the train ride. Between that, and being offered various "job aiding" substances by a guy in a pointy hat and curly toed shoes, it was one of the most surreal jobs a high school kid could have. But, as all good things must come to an end, the place closed down for remodeling in 1978 and despite efforts, never reopened. Seven years later, and now many years ago, the Pirates and I were, as usual, drinking rum. "I hated that head," I said, knocking back a shot "but, in a way it was kinda cool."
"What happened to it?" asked one of the pirates as he refreshed my shot.
"for all I know?" I held up the glass and gazed through the amber fluid, "it might still be sitting in our old dressing room." I downed the shot and went about lighting a cigarette. When I looked up, The pirates were grinning. I knew the plan but spoke anyway.
"Lets go get my Head." Continued....
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